The journal
by PeterPandaBear
Summary: Chad writes everything in his journal, even a secret crush. See what happens when that journal falls into the hands of Sonny Monroe.
1. intro

The journal

intro

**I do not own Sonny with a chance**

**This is my first fanfiction, so tell me what you think**

Chad Dylan Cooper sat on his couch writing in his journal, carful to change all the names. His own name was changed to Jeremy. _Why did I pick the name Jeremy? I hate that name. _

* * *

Every night I have the same dream. Of her. Of dancing. Of love. But in real life it can never be; Mackenzie Ramon still escapes me. When she says my name, disgust fills her voice. She doesn't know, can't know, how I long for her touch. Why does it have to be like this? My story is filled with repeated themes. I apologize; this journal might be dedicated to her, my love.

Wow. Love. A word that fills my dreams but I never thought it could be more than a crush in "_the real world"_

Could it be true? How my heart beats faster when my name-Jeremy- snakes out of her lips? Yes, it must be, my love

Mackenzie.

* * *

_W__ho's Jeremy?_ Sonny Monroe awoke from her repeated dream. A faceless man, pronouncing his love for her, her returning it. All she knew about him was that his name was Jeremy. _Who is Jeremy?_ He calls her what?- Mackenzie? Random?

_Ramon. Mackenzie Ramon. _The name Mackenzie, was all too familiar, the darkness from the word, the veil of confusion and secrets. MACKENZIE FALLS.

A rival, an enemy, THE enemy. _Chad. _

"Chad," she said out loud.

Chad walked through studio 3 on the way to his own set. He had absentmindedly put his journal in his jacket pocket. Josh was late, and rushing to get the mail in. On his way to Sonny's room, he rammed into Chad. Some of the contents of the mail cart spilled out onto the floor, and everything in Chad's pockets were out. After a few minuets of litter duty, Chad had collected his scripts and notes, and Josh had picked up all the mail, plus one.

Chad Dylan Cooper walked away with the strange feeling he forgot something.

**Is it good? Is it Bad? Just click that review button.**

**P.S. Sorry it was so short **


	2. Chapter 1: The opening

**Thanks for all the reviews. Here's Chapter two. Mostly following Sonny.**

**Enjoy.**

Josh was in such a hurry, he didn't realize the big hunk of rectangle sandwiched between the envelopes he was delivering to Sonny Monroe.

"HiTawni!!!"

"Uh… Josh? My name's Sonny. Thanks for the mail."

"OhSorrySonnyI'veGottaGo"

"OK Josh. Wait, can I have your opinion on…"

He was out the door before she could finish the sentence. Sonny looked through her mail.

_Fan mail, Fan mail, Fan mail, Hey, a book!_

Sonny examined it closely. She hadn't order any books lately. It must be one of those books that publishers send to celebrities, to see if they like them, or to possibly endorse them. But she didn't see any title or publisher notes. Though that didn't mean anything, even being seen with the book in public would automatically boost the popularity of that book.

After examining a few pages she came to the conclusion it was a love story; a Romeo and Juliet of sorts. Definitely something she would like to read. So she put it aside for later.

Fan mail was always a first priority for Sonny. She remembered something Towni once said: "Each fan letter is like a hug from a friend." It was true. Sonny absolutely adored fan letters. They were something that she would never abuse. She had the growing fear that people would stop sending fan mail to her and it would be worse than when she never got them at all.

After reading through all her fan mail, Sonny started on the book. When it started out she hated the character Jeremy. _Jeremy? Why is that name so familiar?_ He was stuck up, full of himself, and too hansom for his own good. Until he saw a girl named Mackenzie. She was the total opposite of him, happy in love with life. But what else would you expect from a funny girl from small town Washington.

* * *

She was beautiful, exactly the type of girl I'd want on my arm. Until, of course, she bored me. Teen heart ace sensation Jeremy Hote with the newest thing in TV. So I was walking up to her, when I saw what she was looking at: a giant portrait of herself, on the side of the "So Funny" building. An unfunny. I through out all attraction I had felt toward her out the metaphorical window.

I walked up to a waitress and asked for my normal order. And she turned around and it was HER. Not HER as in a waitress name Marge, but her as in HER. The unfunny. The pretty one. "Oh I'm not a waitress. Oh my gosh!!! You're… you're…"

"Him?" I asked as I stood in front of a large picture of myself.

"You're Zachary on Zachary Springs!!!" She was practically squealing with excitement.

"And apparently you're Marge," I really wanted her name.

"No Marge is my waitress character, and all this belongs to Marge too," She pointed to the fat suet she was wearing. "I'm Mackenzie"

I gave her a signed picture and stole her yogurt.

Next time I saw her see was looking at me out a window with all the other unfunnys. Probably getting the Jeremy Talk

* * *

Sonny Monroe fell in love with Jeremy, as a character, as a person. And she grew increasingly mad at Mackenzie for not just kissing him. _If I was put in Mackenzie's shoes, I would totally date Jeremy. He's so awesome and obviously in love with her. How can anyone be so oblivious to THAT? I just don't get it. _She found herself yelling at both the characters, "KISS! KISS!!!"

She read the whole thing twice. It ended with him realizing he was in love with her. It was now her new favorite book.

On her way to rehearsal, Sonny ran into Chad. She almost said "Who are you?" her mind had been so far away.

"Hey Sonny,"

"Yes Chad?"

"I've lost something. It's kinda valuable. So don't tell any one about it." He looked like he was going to be sick "It's my journal. It's missing. You cannot tell anyone. I swear. I've changed all the names in it so hopefully anyone who finds it won't know it's mine. But it can still be used against me."

"Than why are you telling me this?"

"I trust you" Sonny was touched. Then reality hit.

"Chad?"

"Yeah?"

"What did you change your name to?"

"Jeremy" He said. His phone rang, and he walked away to answer it. Sonny mind was spinning. _No wonder those stories sounded familiar. If he's Jeremy, than Mackenzie must be…_

"Me"

**How was it? I need to know. Sorry it was so Sonneyish, I'll try to make the next chapter following Chad more.**

**if you would like to make a donation to the Channy plus foundation, please press a review button near you.**


	3. Chapter 2: the break

**Okay. I openly admit that I am the worst person in the World. I was having horrible writer's block and haven't posted in like 4 weeks. And if it makes a difference, I have really bad guilt issues, and I check my email, and saw 64 messages from telling me that people have reviewed and added me to their favorites, I almost started crying so:**

**I AM BACK!!!**

"Chad doesn't like me, I'm just paranoid. Yeah that's it. Paranoid."

Sonny Monroe paced around her dressing room, her co-star Towni was there. What help she was. Tawni sat filing her nails, secretly holding on to every word that came out of Sonny's mouth.

"Look Sonny," the queen said, "We've been trying to tell you for weeks that Chad likes you. So there aren't any secrets in that book. Just do what Grady would do, sell it."

"I will not sell it. That's wrong."

"Come on, what has Chad ever done for you?"

"Lots of stuff, there's a list in here."

_Just in case I ever need a favor from…her…I have made a list in response to the question, "What have you ever done for me"_

_helped you up at musical chairs_

_pretended to be your fan_

_cheered you up at your prom_

_tried to break up your teacher and your director_

_gave you an audition as your favorite superhero _

_Let your friends be in my movie_

_went on a fake date _

_Gave you my court-side tickets_

_pretended to choke_

_remembered your name (that's big for me)_

_These are off the top of my head_

"This is not a problem. This is not a problem. This is not a problem."

* * *

"This is not a problem. This is not a problem. This is not a problem."

Chad Dylan Cooper looked franticly around for his journal. _Why'd you tell Sonny about it? _

_I don't know. I trust her._

_Yeah. What if she had already found the journal?_

_Ummmm............_

_GO OVER THERE._

_Stop yelling at me._

_What if that blond found it?_

_So?_

_She'd probably sell it._

_Oh._

_GO. TO. HER. SET. NOW._

_Fine._

_Fine._

_Good._

_Good._

Chad stood in the doorway of Sonny's dressing room. His normal smug eyes were looking at the floor. Tawni looked down too, but found nothing interesting. Sonny was tapping her fingers nervously on her arm. Towni was the first to talk.

"I'm gonna go get a smoothie."

"Okay," Sonny said weakly. Tawni scurried past Chad like a ferret. Sonny looked into Chad's downcast eyes. Expecting what would be cold and hard, was more like liquid magma. Chad looked up and gasped. Sonny followed his gaze to the book sitting next to her on the table.

Chad looked back at the guilty face in disgust. "I trusted you." He turned to leave, but Sonny jumped up and grabbed his arm. What came next was pure poetry. Like wax to a fire. They melted into each other, their lips in perfect sync. Chad pulled away first.

"Sonny, there's a reason that I didn't want you to read that book. None of it's true. It was all an experiment."

"But… all of the events happened. I made sense."

"It was a joke. I was told to write a memoir to show people that I can be deep, but I couldn't honestly do that, now could I? So I started writing this, like it was. Then I saw this article in Tween Weekly, about me liking you. I changed how I was writing, just for fun. But it's all one big lie. So, I guess I'll take that."

Chad took the journal and walked out the door, leaving a heartbroken Sonny behind. Chad Dylan Cooper was still the greatest actor of our generation.

**So I know you hate the ending. But I thought it worked. I'm not done so don't freak out, although I might need suggestions. Please review. Think of the Turtles.**


	4. Chapter 3: Guilty

**Okay, I was at my friend's house, and we were on the computer, and I asked her to read my fan fiction, she asked me what fan fiction was. After I explained it to her, I got her to read the journal, and she seamed to like it, and then she started randomly slapping my arm. Over and Over and Over again, my entire arm is red. Apparently, she didn't like how I ended the last Chapter. Go Figure.**

_[Chad's POV]_

I feel so guilty, so, so, so guilty. It's eating me alive, I hate it. I've never felt guilty before, it's strange. I've never felt scared before either. Today was so emotional. Scary. How could she do that? I love her, why did she have to ruin it? So guilty. We should be together now. I'm so stupid, so guilty, so guilty. It was nice, you know, nice. Scary. Lovely, so guilty.

Liar.

Liar.

Liar.

Scared and alone, idiot.

**Okay this wasn't really much of a continuation, but hey. I just wanted to point out that Chad was LYING. **_**No. How could this be? Chad's not a liar!!! **_**He is. Deal, Please review.**


	5. Chapter 4:flowers and steak

**You guys are awesome, and I know I haven't been posting on this story lately, but believe me when I say I'm sorry. You guys know about my guilt issues. Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling guilty. I guess it might annoy people sometimes, but that only adds to my problem. I have to say though, you guys are great, you came up with great ideas, and I'll try to use as many as I can. **

Sonny Monroe, once the picture of happiness and sunshine, now in a spiraling vortex of depression. She'd kissed Chad. Her and Him. North and South, East and West, Up and Down, How and Why? _Do I love him? Yes. Great. Does he love me? Maybe, no, yes. But he… he could of lied, maybe, why would he do that? Yes or No? Simple. I need professional help. _

Sonny Monroe picked up her cell phone and called Marshal's office.

"What do you need kido?"

"Can you send 3 and half dozen daisies to my dressing room?"

"Sure, Can I ask why?"

"No,"

* * *

When Tawni walked in from the longest smoothie break ever, her dressing room was covered in flower pedals, Sonny was on her last stem, "He loves me, He loves me not, He Loves me, He loves me not. That settles that." She suddenly burst into tears. Tawni looked at her, decided she didn't care and said,

"I'm gonna go get another smoothie."

She left behind an unused napkin that she had gotten for the previous smoothie. Sonny quit her wallowing for a few precious minutes, but it was long enough to drag herself to the napkin, get a pen, and drag herself back to her corner of misery and woe. But the clouds had not returned just yet, which allowed her time to think, one day she would look back and laugh at the whole thing, one day she would rise above and use the experience to make her a better person, one day, was not today.

So Sonny decided to write, that's what she did in tough times, that's what she was taught to do. Just write it out. To look at a hopeless situation from the third person gave a new outlook on things, so she wrote the words she thought she could bear to hear:

_Chad_ _broke Sonny's heart_

But as soon as she wrote that, the pain in her chest came back, so she scribbled the words out, and wrote

_Jeremy had broken Mackenzie's heart._

The pain in her chest weakened, but only slightly. So she wrote on, knowing it was only a temporary solution. 

* * *

Tawni might not be smart, but she was smart enough to stay out of Sonny's business when it came to Chad. And she was smart enough to realize this was about Chad. So she should be smart enough to stay away from Chad when she saw him in the cafeteria, and she should be smart enough to ignore him when he looked like he was in pain, and she should have been smart enough to walk in the opposite direction when she saw him moving his cut up pieces of porter house steak around with his fork, to disgusted with himself to eat. But like I said, she's not a very smart person.

**Honestly, I needed to cut it off right there, and you can rest easy knowing I won't be able to. I promise to update as soon as I can. I swear I swear I swear. It is times like these I can appreciate being on an anonymous site. I have the strangest feeling that people are going to come for me in the dead of night with pitchforks and force me to finish. **

**The best defense is a fortress; a fortress of reviews. **

**Don't leave me unprotected.**

**Please. Have mercy.**

**Please. **


	6. Chapter 5: Tawni's pep talk

**If you don't mind me quoting from Mario: "Here we go"**

Tawni sat down with her slop of mystery meat next to TVs Chad Dylan Cooper. She kept her eyes trained on the juicy, tender, porter house steak, grilled to perfection, and being moved appetizingly and slowly around the glossy plate. Back and Forth, Back and Forth, Back and Forth, her mouth was watering.

Her eyes not leaving the plate, she asked, "Are you going to finish that?"

"Why would I give it to you Random?" He sneered, and then he looked back down at the plate in front of him ashamed.

"Well, I just thought. You know."

"No, I don't,"

"Well I thought since it's your fault our show is ruined, and you don't look hungry…"

"How is your show ruined because of me?"

"You broke Sonny's heart. And now she's too depressed to be funny"

"I doubt I broke Sonny's heart, she didn't even like me. She only liked the book."

"No she liked you too, well she hates you now. Last time I saw her, she was crying her eyes out. Are you gonna finish that?" She asked again.

* * *

**Very, very, very short I know, but it's my style. And all I promised to do was update. And I realize now that I'll need a stronger fortress. But I have the next couple chapters planed So it won't take long to update.**


	7. Chapter 6: Voices and thier work

**So I haven't updated in a long, long while, so most of you must have forgotten the story line, I'd be better I f you went and re-read it, but for all the lazy people like me: here's a recap:**

**Chad lost his journal, Sonny finds it, not knowing it's a journal. She believes it's a love story, so she reads it, falling in love with the main character, Jeremy (Chad changed all the names.) On her way to rehearsal, Chad tells her he lost his journal. Sonny realizes that it was the one she found, and that Chad was in love with her. When Chad comes to visit her, they kiss, and Chad tells Sonny that the journal was a fake. Then there's a whole chapter dedicated to the fact that Chad feels guilty about lying. Sonny decides to write about the whole ordeal on a napkin, while Tawni is absent-mindedly giving Chad a guilt trip.**

**That's about all you need to know, I hope you enjoy this next chapter,**

[Sonny's POV]

After a while of filling up my napkin, I transferred all by work into my sketch notebook. Looking over it, I decided it wasn't my best work,

_That's because your best work is funny, _a little voice told me.

_This is not a funny story, _I told my voice in my head,

_A good comedian can make the phone book sound funny, _It told me back. **(AN. My writing teacher says that all the time) **

_I make thousands of people laugh all the time, not everything I do has to be funny, _

_But this is what comedians do, they take a personal situation and use it, mold it, as entertainment, that's what Taylor Swift does with her songs,_

_I'm not Taylor Swift,_

_Obviously, if you were, this whole story would be a best selling album by now, You know what never mind, you don't have the comedy skill to make this laughable,_

_What are you talking about? I have oodles of skill,_

_Yeah, I'm so sure, _I don't know about you, but when the voice in my head starts using sarcasm, I get a little freaked out.

"I'll show you, I will make this funny!" I said out load, then quickly covered my mouth with my hand, thanking the lord that no one was around to hear that.

_Great job genius, do you want us to get sent to the loony bin?_

_Shut up, _I told it.

* * *

3 hours later

* * *

_There, told you I could do it!!! _I thought to myself

_Very good, _My brain said back, _Hilarious yet touching,_

* * *

[Chad's POV]

I couldn't stand it any longer; I just had to tell her the truth. I needed to. The guilt was eating me alive, and what if she liked me back?

Okay, do you want to know why I lied to her?

She never liked me before, never showed interest before, before she read that journal. It's pretty obvious to me that she only liked me for the type of person that I seemed like in the journal. That kiss wasn't for me, it was for Jeremy, it didn't feel right. I needed her to like me on her own, come to her senses on her own. Be able to except that Chad Dylan Cooper is part of my personality; that he has to be there. I can't be in a relationship with her, and she'd be trying to get me to act like Jeremy head on 24/7. I can't do that. I can't. But as I was making my way to Sonny's dressing room, I realized that that didn't matter.

I stopped walking in front of the door, and was about to knock when heard her yelling at someone. I started to walk away, seeing that that wasn't the best time to confess my undying love to her.

_You idiot, listen to the conversation!!! _The voice said

_No, it's rude_

_It could be about you, listen!!!_

_Your last idea is what got us into this mess, _

_Yeah, you two made out, isn't that what you wanted?_

_How am I supposed to answer that?_

_I know the answer already, Chad_

_Okay then,_

_But you're also crazy,_

_I know that, I kinda figured that out when you showed up,_

_What if she's yelling about you?_

_To who!?!?_

_Maybe herself, maybe she's just as messed up as you are,_

_Sonny's not messed up, and she is definitely not wacko,_

After listening to the conversation, I realized was right on two terms.

* * *

[Sonny's POV]

"Why can't I talk out loud?" I asked the voice, "There's no one here"

_You never know when someone could be listening at the door,_

"No one's listening at the door," just to prove my point, I walked over to the dressing room door and banged on it, hard.

"See, no one there," I told the voice,

_Did you not hear the yelp of pain? It kind of sounded like the time you swung the door in Chad's face when he came over to guest-star, speaking of which, how are things going on there?_

"Shut up, you know how things are doing in that department,"

_This morning you admitted you loved him, was that true, or just a heat of the moment kind of thing?_

"You know I love Chad, stop bugging me about it,"

_And you loved him before this whole ordeal right?_

"I liked him, sure, but not love until he broke my heart. I guess it was there the whole time, I just never realized it, so I guess yeah. I loved him before the journal,"

* * *

[3rd person]

Chad was so exited about what he heard; he skipped all the way back to his dressing room, half going there to rehearse his lines, half going to get some ice for his head. So he didn't hear the last part, which took place inside Sonny's head.

_So if he comes and tells you that he was lying, what would you do?_

_What type of person lies about something like this? I'd probably kill him; honestly, he hasn't shown his face here since the incident. He's not even man enough to apologize, yeah, even if he did come and tell me he was lying, I wouldn't believe it, it's probably guilt. Yeah I'd kill him._

_That's a little harsh don't you think?_

_After what he did to me, he deserves a long slow painful death, you know the saying: "There is nothing scarier than a woman scorned," especially if the man who hurt her comes back expect everything to be alright, and for her to come running back to him, like a mindless child after what he did. Like Bella!!! But I am not Bella, I will be strong, I will not cave. I am not letting that…boy, get to me!!!_

_Okay, just chill, relax deep breathes, this is all hypothetical_

_Sorry, but my answer: I'd kill him._

**Okay, what'd you think? Is Sonny overreacting, is Chad going to get himself killed? Is Chad really to blame? And do you want me to kill Tawni? (Well to bad cause I won't)**

**Review and suggest, I only have the next couple of chapters planned out, because I have to change the ending. (The idea I had, I really didn't like,)**

**There's a little review button lost in the woods. It's staving and cold, and the only way to save its poor life is to click on it,**

**Please, please, have a heart. **


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